that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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