Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
