I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
