You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
