Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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