we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
