thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
