Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think your dad took our porno
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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