I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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