Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
