Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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