I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
