please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
