It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
