The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize