Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Randomize
