Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
