did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
