I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
