Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She even gives head with a lisp.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
