So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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