just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize