I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
