and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
