Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize