I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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