What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
