so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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