Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
