take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize