best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize