a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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