his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
