Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
