Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
4 words: hood of his car
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
