He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
