they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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