she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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