I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
