didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
