just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
