he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
