You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize