I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
