Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
