Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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