My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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