Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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