Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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