Screwed.edu
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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