I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
nutella sex= disaster
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
