He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
