She's JV to your varsity
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
