I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
