hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize
