i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
