Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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