i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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