Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
