Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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