But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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