dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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