Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
The air was thick with penises
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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