If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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